God's will and the World Series, Guinness and my health

The seminary, or, more accuratly, two students from the seminary, periodically do a newsletter in spoof of the Wineskin which informs students and facutly of the weeks events. This newsletter is the Whineskin. Here are 2 of the best announcements from this issue:

"The Department of Haphazardly Declaring God's Will has decreed that God doesn't want me to graduate. This is based on the fact that the weather has been nice all autumn, and that God made the World Series during reading week, making it impossible for me to study."

"A spokesperson for the PTS Health and Wellness Department has categorically denied allegations that seminary life fosters bad dietary habits. He then dropped six Advil tablets and an espresso shot into a pint of Guinness and dunked in a Snickers bar."

Those both ring pretty close to home for me. So, if you're not on the floor laughing, it's ok, cause I am.