Hesitations
"I couldn't live in the city. I'd give all my money to homeless people."
"...would that be so bad?"
"...No, I guess not."
Walking through New York City yesterday in a 18 degree high and a 9 degree low--freezing to the point where if my jeans were to suddenly rip and fall off, I probably wouldn't have known it--I kept thinking of all those with no where warm to return to after a long day in the cold.
A man playing guitar on the subway car.
A man playing a 12 string guitar for those waiting for the subway car, unashamed of Jesus.
A man selling me a newspaper on Special Education so he can find a place to stay the night.
A man speaking softly and trying to tell me why he needs change to pay for something having to do with his hospital bracelet.
Maybe they're not all homeless, but maybe they are. Maybe I should just become like those around me who seem unfazed. Except for that man. How does he do it? He just started talking to the man with the 12 string...why can't I do that? Maybe I can. It's a shame that later on, when approached about a newspaper, and having almost 20 mins till my train out of the city, I still couldn't carry on a descent conversation--just buy the newspaper, it's only 2 bucks. In distress I take a seat away from people, yet people fill in the seats. I think to myself, "I couldn't live in the city. I'd give all my money to homeless people." Seconds later, "...would that be so bad?" Money isn't everything, "...No, I guess not." As if on cue, he approaches asking for change for something I can't understand. Do I really need to understand the situation to understand that he's asking for help? I don't even count the dollers this time. Maybe 3? I almost hope I pulled out something more than that.
Yet... Why do they appraoch me? Do I have sucker written on my face? Is it cause I'm a girl? Or do they see something else--perhaps a willingness to help? Maybe they approach me, because I've failed to approach others. When I hesitated to give them money, what did they think? I hope they don't think I look down on them and see them as less than human. When I am debating in my soul about what they'll do with my money, if their story is real, thinking if there is any other way I can help without giving money--why do they approach me when I haven't formulated how to deal with situations like this?
Why is it taking me so long to formulate?
posted by Mary @ 9:49 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I'll make it even crazier for you.
Let me ask you this: did giving that man your three dollars (or whatever) make his life any better? Did it really improve his current status? Is he now, all-of-a-sudden, that much better off than he was before? That money will not change his outlook on life. It will not create within him the desire to improve, succeed, or acheive anything resembling a normal life. I will give credit to panhandlers who play instruments, because at least they are doing something. But the dirty homeless man who asks for money, or who simply shakes a styrofoam cup expectantly will never get any of my money. To give to such a man only encourages that sort of behaviour. He has to have the desire to change his situation, and I can't believe that giving him a buck or two is gonna do that.
There are a lot of things you could put your money towards, that would really assist people in need.
Hopefully that all didn't come across as heartless!
It's taken me a while to respond to this, not because I wasn't taking your question seriously, but because I was taking it seriously.
The truth is, I don't know what affect me giving money to a homeless person has on him or her. There is no way of knowing that. Does it help in the long run, help him to become a step closer to leaving the streets? Probably not. Should we ignore him because of that? This was why I said I had hesitations in giving money to the homeless. There are so many unanswered questions. Questions that I do not know where to begin to answer, if by an answer is meant a quick cover-all-situations solution. You're right, the money will not change his outlook on life. The love that a person shows him may, however. Even so, the system tends to prevent the poor/homeless from moving up, improving, and acheiving what you, or any of us, would call a normal life.
Thus, what is the motivation to work if one will only stay where one is? We do not know all of a person's story, especially from one encounter with them that only involves the passing along of money, or refusal to do so. People's lives are complex. To look at the person who asks for money and see him or her as having no desire to improve, discredits many unknown factors in their life. Issues and problems and events that we are not aware of might influence the way one deals with ones homelessness. Yet, I understand the concern of free-riders, which is one reason why I mentioned my hesitation in giving money.
Let me ask this, though: Should our hearts be hardened in a greater manner towards the poor/homeless who ask for money, more so than those that sing/perform for their supper? One is not more human than the other. So, I am back to my original concern...how are we to approach all different types of poor and homeless people, in a way that will best serve them?
It's easy to say that by donating money to an agency, that one does what one can. What do you do, however, when you are approached my another human being, who is asking, yet, pleading for some form of care? Do you look them in the eyes and say, "Sorry" and walk on? Do you avoid their eyes wishing they would go away?
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