Life is good

Well, folks...what can I write? It's been a while since I've had time to post so there is much circling in my mind. First off, despite this crazy long sleep deprived week, which I brought upon myself, I am thankful for the opportunities that have arisen to get to know some of the people on campus better. Or maybe it's just that I have a better attitude about meeting people and am actually taking inititive! :-)

We had an international field ed meeting tonight which was great because I got to talk to 3 people who interned at churches in Scotland for a year. How much more did that make me want to go?! I am intrigued by the stories of leading devotionals for the kids in the area at the public schools since there is no separation of church as state as we know it. I am also intriqued at having parish churches where everyone in the area is a part of the church, even if they don't believe or attend the church, and because they are a part of the church they are entitled to funeral services at the church. One of the guys said he gave a funeral service for an alcoholic atheist! I know it will be a challenging experience, but I really think it is something that I need and will benefit from. Not having any pastoral exposure (beyond watching my dad, which doesn't help practically speaking) I think a year long internship would be the best option. There will be cultural barriers and the difficulty of living in a new country as the only American and facing a new world of a ministry experience within that context....BUT....I really feel that may be just what I need! Just dive right in--sink or swim...hopefully there would be no sinkage however. Please pray that I may discern if this is what God is calling me to do, because I don't know how it will fit into the plans for pursuing the dual degree in social work. If I can't do both I don't know what I will choose. Part of me is way more excited about the opportunity to live and work in Scotland, but then I also want to investigate the world of social work.

In the Tide...Na Mare

If you like poetry on pictures and paintings here are a few excerpts from Duarte da Silva's Poetry Blog. But don't stop with the excerpts...


"Time heals but mind keeps
The regrets of a painfull way
Letting go all those tears
And keep on breathing
Is the only way... ... ..."-You'll find your sail

"Funny way to remind thee
That i’m tasting sour, though i want to taste sweet"-Moments

What wonderful musical are you?

What else would I do on a Sunday morning before church?



You are Rent!


What WONDERFUL musical are you?
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Vote for The John Butler Trio on Launch's 'Who's Next' contest! They need to win every week for three weeks until they are declared the winner. So, check out this site, give them a listen, and then vote for the Aussies!


JOHN BUTLER TRIO IS WHO'S NEXT

Forget about forgetting

I know ya'll (smile) have your own classes and therefore don't really want to hear all the lectures I heard today, which is good because I don't remember them, but I wanted to share a few quotes and the reflections they brought. First, however, is a quote from Iain Torrance's convocation speech.

"The presence of God means the absence of fear, the increase of love, and an increase in dissatisfaction at the way things are."-Iain Torrance

This was interesting to hear preached. I have a growing sense of dissatisfaction with the church and have sometimes felt misunderstood, because of my lack of gusto for my denomination and it's practices, or for organized religion. Along with this I have a growing sense of the limitations of my knowledge on my denomination and the church universal. In love, I must seek to understand before passing judgements. To some extent I feel called to speak things to the church which may seem radical, although I don't quite know what these things are. Yet, I am afraid of what will happen when this is made clear to me. I am working backwards from what Torrance spoke, but I think it serves the same purpose-no matter what direction you are working from God's presence is still required.

The second quote is from Intro to NT Exegesis.

"It's ok to sit here for three years and still not know what you believe deep down on some of these key issues."-Ross Wagner

In our interpretation of scripture there are issues which come up that are not always clear. It's easy to get caught up in figuring the right interpretation that you forget that much of the Bible is, and will be until God reveals it, a mystery. We don't have to have everything figured out. Dr. Wagner also made an example of love and our reaction to it. When you love someone you want to listen to everything they say. You want to get to know them because you value their conversation. So it should be in the way we approach our reading. Respect the author and hear what they have to say because they are contributing to the conversation.

In Church, Community, and Nation it was questioned,

"What are the times we live in and how does that affect our moments (what is said and done now)? What are our moments and how do they affect the times we live in?"-Richard Fenn

After today's lecture I was reminded how much I don't know about politics. I have never been a fan of politics, because it never seems to go beyond the name calling and negative reports on the opponet. This class will not allow for that I am afraid. Sometimes I feel like there is no way to come across the real issues, and, that even when I do, I will be as Dr. Wagner mentioned-unable to know what I believe. This is the same for the issues we will discuss in Bio-Medical Ethics. How will I ever be able to voice my opinion on controversial issues, such as homosexuality, when I can't seem to decide on the right interpretations?

Yet, it seems like the time has come for me to begin to really seek out these issues. Is the church living out the gospel? Is the church as involved in the nation as it should be? Do we really need denominations? At the same time, is a split in the denomination over homosexuality (or any issue) the best for all involved? Why are we continually for racial reconciliation and yet, take little or no steps towards the relization of this in our congregations? How do you find a balance in worship that doesn't restrict people who feel the Spirit, and yet does not loose the traditions of the litergy? I seem to think these questions will dissappear, but that is not the case. And, yes, after 3 years of a theological education I will not have all the answers, and I may still not have a strong case for certian issues, but the least I can do is forget about forgetting them.

Stop staring at the shelf

Just thought I'd let ya know that I've started classes now, and the reading has begun. I'm even reading on how to read. And how to study. Reading about reading makes me want to read. Read the books that I find on the shelves of Barnes and Noble or a used book store, flip through, read a couple pages of, and think, "I want to read this, but I don't have the money or time to buy every book I want to read." So, I sadly place the book back on the shelf and everytime I walk by it or hear about it, wish that I had time to read it. With all the required readings for class who has time for pleasure reading? Who has time to read anything else? Books for fun, much less daily Bible reading, are pushed aside for scholarly readings. That is my history anyway. Maybe that's just me.

Maybe I should find the motivation to read a book other than what is required for class, even if it is just a few pages a day. Maybe BDredge is right and I should be doing such things. Maybe my brother Jacob has the right idea. Maybe I should stop thinking about reading these books and actually read them. These concepts...

I guess it's like writing: you need to make time for it. I make time to write, even if it's just for this blog or my more personal journal (...No, you can't have copies of that one!...). BDredge has convinced me that to improve writing one must continually write, even if it's about nothing, and do this everyday. Habitualize it. And so I think I should try to do the same with reading.

Not so that I can prove my scholarly knowledge to people, but to feel more confident in my own knowledge. Maybe reading will help this self-esteem of mine to forget it's reluctance to speak up in class because I'm not educated enough to speak my options. That has been my excuse for too long. I've been sitting at the table of conversation and watching, entering by way of forced discussion in class and with papers, timidly because I don't believe I actually belong there. Even more timidly when the thought of writing my own books come to mind. So, the conversations are continuing without me and I sit waiting for my confidence to grow enough to speak with authority.

But, perhaps I have judged the table all too wrong. Maybe I do have something to contribute and maybe they will listen to me. And if this is the case, then for me to fully join in the conversations I must stop staring at the books on the shelf and actually read them. And after thought and reflection, begin to work out and write my own contributions.

The new PTS President

I love our new president here at PTS, Iain Torrance. He is from Scotland and was previously the Moderator of the General Assembly of The Church of Scotland. He spoke at the opening convocation tonight. Wow. It was a great talk, but I am sad to admit, a bit over my head. There were times he would say something and it would make sense and other times it was way beyond reach. I am sitting 10 ft. from him, looking up at his profile, and listening to the British accent, amazed at how well read and smart he is, and wishing I could make sense of his thoughts. I thought I was the only one, but apparently I'm not. This is good.


I was inspired to learn more about Torrance and found these articles interesting. Not only concerning him, but the now current Moderator of the GA of The Church of Scotland--the first woman in this role in Scotland, Dr Alison Elliot.


"Kirk names former TA chaplain as Moderator"-May 18, 2003

"Female Moderator makes history"-Oct. 29, 2003

"New head of Church may face pulpit ban"-Nov. 1, 2003

"The man for the job"-Nov. 3, 2003

"Ministers threaten to bar Moderator"-Nov. 7, 2003

"Time to shake off homophobia"-Dec. 26, 2003

"Love thy fellow man, in spirit"-You'll have to scroll down to read this entry, it comments on the subject of the previous news article.

"Hope Rises From Iraq’s Ashes"-March 7, 2004

"Kirk chief takes on US college post"-April 15, 2004

"Assembly confirms 2 seminary presidents"-June 30, 2004


These are all good articles. Yes, I realize I have too much time on my hands. But not anymore starting tomorrow...

And you're a blogger because?

I have often wondered about the very questions raised in this entry: Three Kinds of Blog Entries. I go back and forth about how I feel leaving my journal thoughts, my "personal drivel" as you will, online for the world to read. Some days I think no one besides my friends would read it anyway since who but them would really care about my registration stories, or struggles with adjusting to a new state and grad school. Other days I think, "Man, someone could so stalk me, it's not even funny."

So why do I do the online journal/blog? Mainly it's because I feel it's one of the only ways to keep my friends informed about my life, being that we're all so busy and have different schedules, and live across the country from one another. It's also a place to vent or tell stories to whoever listens. Who does listen? Who even reads this thing? Are you here because you clicked the link I gave you or because you're flipping through blogs? Do you read the post or decide that my random ramblings aren't worth your time? What's the point of my personal drivel? It's an attempt at me being honest. Something I think the world needs more of. Honest people. Too bad we're all afraid of being honest because of how that information could be used against us. Or maybe it's that we are honest and no one appreciates it.

I need, I have, I forgot

I need a cd player... I just got a package from Janice with 3 cd's in it...one containing only TX Country, one of Cross Canadian Ragweed and Pat Green, and one of mainstream country. I'm real excited and can't wait to listen to them as I lounge on my bed and stare up at the TX flag while drinking a Dos Equis, since Shiner is lacking around here. Ha ha. Now I need money to buy the cd player and Dos Equis. Minor details... I need a job.

I have my audition for the PTS Cantate Domino and Touring Choirs tomorrow afternoon at 4 ET. I haven't sung real music in a long time so I may have forgotten how to sing correctly...in other words, I need to reacquaint myself with the practice room concept. I sang through some of my recital music from last semester at AC this afternoon, and I guess that's all I can really do besides go in tomorrow and warm-up before the audition. Hopefully the skills ain't all gone. Nah, they can't be or Sylvia would drive up here, walk up to me, give me that look, and say, "That's embrasing." LOL ...If you know Sylvia, you know that's true... Well, maybe she wouldn't drive up here, but e-mail is always an option. Although, I never really got the e-mails she sent me anyway...and therefore missed voice classes... I hear the AC A Cappella Choir has a ton of male voices now. Pretty cool. Hopefully, I will be able to hear it...sing in it as an alumni(!!) for Homecoming. I'm praying real hard that it works out to come down then. It goes back to the whole I need a job thing.

I forgot how annoying it is to live in a dorms with loud blasted music and slamming doors. Oh, yeah, and where hearing entire conversations through the wall isn't necessarily a superpower...

I could be rich like a wandering Gypsy...

So, I figured out what I'm doing for my birthday this year. Going to see The John Butler Trio on October 2, the day before my 23rd birthday, at a night club in PA! Now, I just need to recruit people to go with me. It shouldn't be that hard since JBT is incredible. I know the people here will be hooked once I let them listen to some of JBT's music. What an awesome Birthday that will be. I'm already excited.

Almost as excited as the day I found out that Powderfinger was going to play at SXSW....almost or equally excited...possibly more excited, but how can one really gauge that... They are both incredible bands. I love Aussie music.

(the title for this post is from "Zebra"-
The John Butler Trio)

I also found this on the front page of the JBT website:

"JBT SIGNED IN THE US - WHAT YOU WANT EP TO FOLLOW
The John Butler Trio have recently signed with Lava Records, an imprint of Warners music, In USA for territories outside of Australia and New Zealand. Warners has recently become a music only label being wholly owned by a consortium of private investors in USA.
This decision took a long time in the making, over 2 years in fact, and eventually John chose to go with a label that fully appreciated him for who he is and the music he makes, and who are into a grass roots approach, and a long journey. We have guaranteed artistic control over all aspects and feel very optimistic about our future relationship with Lava."

Middle-Earth Tours

I just found my new favorite website! I love concept art from Lord of the Rings and it's all gathered together in one place, plus pictures from the movies. It's great.

And I love Alen Lee and Ted Nasmith. I'd like to fill the empty wall in my room with the pictures from this website.

Middle-Earth Tours

If only I could find them sold somewhere...

Colorblind

Colorblind
by Counting Crows

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready I am
Taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stutter shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready I am fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready I am fine


It seems to me that the meaning of this song is kinda what you make. Today, it kinda explains how I feel about going out and meeting all the new people. Take last night for example. I was going stir crazy since I'd been in my room all day and I just really wanted to go a bar or something, but didn't know anyone to ask if they wanted to go. So, I'm walking around the downtown area trying to decide where in the world I should go where I might find people I knew. The last place I walked by I decided looked promising so I walk in. I soon notice that there are a few familer faces so things are good...until I also realized that there are a bunch of new people as well. I didn't want to meet new people, I just wanted a beer. Can't I get a beer without having to tell you my life story? You mean I have to tell yet one more person I am from TX, Corpus Christi, TX, I went to Austin College, it's in Sherman, which is N. of Dallas, so no, I don't know how life in Austin is. Sociology major. thinking of the dual degree program. 22 years old, straight from undergrad, no, i've been here all summer taking summer greek. can't i just sit somewhere else? I just want to relax some before classes start and not have to deal with cheery newcomers or even returning students. I've already done this once.

So, it's like the song.... "I am covered in skin, No one gets to come in" I feel like I am so reluctant for the whole process. I'm not a big fan of orientation crap and I just don't want to go through the shallow small talk again. Last night I was just so annoyed with even the conversation topics people choose after having been introduced. Can't we stop talking about ministry long enough to sit in the bar for a while? I just can't escape it seems. My eyes just glaze over because I think, "I don't wanna think about this stuff right now" They asked me what I thought about something they were talking about last night and I didn't have anything else to say other than, "I'm not thinking right now". And it was the truth.

I still think the business card idea would be best. Have all the information on it so I don't have to say it all the time. Or even a T-Shirt. HAHA... or as Jess just suggested, record the answers and play it for people who ask.

Oh, well, it's inevitable, so I guess I should try and not seem as annoyed with the process as I really am.

Hey, now, you're an all-star....

Can I just tell you how great this week has been? So great. Finally feeling like I am having a summer! Time to make my room really awesome. Time to sleep. Time to read fun books. Time to write. Time to hang out with Nichole and Inger. Time to rest before having to attend orientation and meet a bunch of newbies. Yea! I'm not a newbie anymore...well, sorta.

The only thing I have left between me and a super cool room is a few more blank wall space. That's mostly because I want to frame stuff before putting it up. Like, I have a ton of pictures from Scotland that I want to hang up on the wall, so I want to get a collage picture frame, or two, for those. And I need a big one for my Lilly poster that Janice gave me. And then I need something for the huge wall my bed is up against that has absolutly nothing on it. I need some cheap posterage and framage. I'll get right on that.

I am a major slacker and just yesterday registered for Fall classes. Here's what I'm taking:

History of Christianity I (with McVey and Rorem)
Speech Communication in Ministry (with whoever they give me)
Introduction to New Testament Exegesis (with Dr. Wagner again!)
Orientation to Old Testament Studies (with Miller and Sakenfeld)
Issues in Bio-Medical Ethics (with Duff)
Church, Community, and Nation (with Fenn)

That's 16 credits, which is the recommended for having taken a summer language. It sounds intense. A couple of them only meet one day a week. I am really really excited about the class with Mr. Fenn. The course description says that it is an "Investigation of the way in which the church, social class, and the nation compete and collaborate with each other in the social construction of community. Class conflict and the role of the churchs in local communities. The relation of central politcal and cultral instutions to groups and movements on the periphery. The effets of global social trends, dissent, religious movements, and the expansion of the state on the symbolic contruction of community." I think the Bio-Medical Ethics class will be really great also. And it counts towards the social work program so it's even better. Hopefully I get those two though, since I waited forever to register. Although, I think the newbies still have to register so it's not totally hopeless.

Rock on. I'm gonna go find something to do now.

Texafied and Sigmafied

So, it's Monday and there is nothing to do for once. I'm not waking up at 5:30 am to make breakfast and do meal preps for the camp, I'm not waking up at 7 am to take vocab walks to study my Greek vocab words, I don't have class, there is nothing pressing for me to do! I can have a summer now! For a week at least. Too bad I'm in New Jeresy and it's pretty much Fall.... But FALL! How great is Fall! That is one of the things I didn't like about Texas, no fall, no real seasons. But it's a love hate relationship. I hate the weather, but I love it otherwise. Today in Princeton it is a beautiful day, about 73 outside. It's great. Have I mentioned before how much I love it here? New Jersey is still weird, but as long as I'm not driving anywhere it's ok.

So, I had my Texas flag raising ceremony last night. I finally hung up the 5"x3" flag that Janice bought me. I didn't really have time during Greek to decorate the room...all I had on the walls were Greek Paradigms--woohoo, watch out. I spent my evening trying not to kill myself while putting a chair on my chest of drawers and then on the bed so that I could reach the top of the ceiling to hang the flag--it changed locations a few times. I really thought I was going to have to tell you guys that I fell off my chair, that was on my bed wobbling around, and hit my head on the floor and knocked myself out. But instead, I sucessfully hung up the flag without falling, removed the chair from the bed, and (enfluenced by the fact that there was Energizer music on) proceed to jump around to Energizers. "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on go play...Istanbul was Constantinople...Video killed the radio star..." Let me tell you how great jumping on the bed is. If you haven't jumped on the bed in a while, you should definatly do so. Right now. Why are you laughing and giving me weird looks? I'd play the Energizer music for ya, but, alas, I don't think you'd hear it all that well. I haven't heard any of the other Presbies talking about Energizers...maybe they think it's not proper to do Energizers in grad school. HA! Wonder what they would say about me now? muh ha ha... Maybe they don't even know what Energizers are....that would be horrible. I'm sure my brother Jacob would agree. Anyway, I would have blasted some Pat Green or other Texas Country music while hanging my TX flag, but everyone who told me they would made me a TX music cd has yet to do so!

I also decided that since I paid so much for all of my Sigma photos from past bid nights, that I was going to hang every one of them on my walls. So now I have all my wonderful Sigma sisters smiling back at me every day. And then there's the little brothers, sometimes smiling. :-) It makes me real happy and everyone is going to think I'm a bit obsessed with the Sigmas, but can you blame me? I am trying to plan a way to come down for Bid Night, but I'm not sure if I'll have the funding. If not, I will hopefully find a time and a way to come at some point this year. Hopefully... And, if anyone ever feels the need to come visit me here, that'd be great. Only 45 mins from the city, NYC.

Rhema, word.

Time for the brew?

It's such a beautiful day outside! I want someone to play softball with me! Where are all my wonderful softball ladies when I need them? It's also tempting to just hang outside for a while...maybe I should do that...move my translation space outside.

All I have to say is one more day!! We're translating 3 John for tomorrow's quiz. It's been really great to read the text in Greek. It's nice not to be able to skip ahead when reading. I know that I do that a lot when I read the Bible, simply because I think, "Oh, yeah, I know that...I've heard that (or something like it) before" When you have to translate it you can't really do that. And it may take a few readings to get the jist of the passage but that's ok. The class has really helped me understand translation issues as well. I knew that it was a hard process, but it's helped me to appreciate it more. We've looked at pictures of original manuscripts and noticed variations in them--a preview of my Intro to New Testament Exegesis class I'm sure. I've struggled first hand with how to translate a mood in Greek that you can't really translate that well into English. Or choosing words that are accurate to the time you are living, reading, and preaching in, but keeping the old context and meaning as well. I wonder how I will like Hebrew? I've been looking forward to taking Greek for a while now, so it didn't seen like just another required class. Maybe my Intro to Old Testament class will inspire me for next summer's Hebrew--the brew as it is affectionatly referred to.

Oh, and I thought I would mention this because it pissed me off at breakfast this morning. I am trying to be understanding, but it makes me angry. Some people are planning on dressing up really nice for the first week or two of class. Mainly because they say that people come to class looking gruby and they want to make a point for not wearing t-shirts or flannel shirts and such. You know what this makes me want to do right? Bust out all my Austin College Activators and other random T-shirts and wear them for the whole first month of class. I guess it really upsets me because for the first two weeks of class I didn't have all my clothes here yet, since they had to be shipped, so all I had to wear were t-shirts and shorts. And I felt a bit uncomfortable because some of these same people were making comments about people never taking time to dress up for class. This bothers me because it's already setting up divisions within the community. People aren't even here yet and they're already planning on how to single them out. Maybe that's not the goal, but I don't see how it wouldn't. And along with that make them feel like crap and unwelcomed into the community. Maybe it's just me having a problem with this, but I hope not. They are assuming that everyone has been raised in a culture where you dress up all the time, when that's not the case. Or that you have nice clothes to wear everyday. Excuse me, but I just got out of college and haven't had a real job therefore I don't own as much nicer outfits as other people. And furthermore, some of the outfits people where to class I would never do simply because they're not really going to class outfits. You can look nice and cute without wearing a church dress everyday. I don't know. Call me crazy. And I know that the Eastern culture is a lot different than the Mid-West and the South in the way they dress, but I don't think it's right to make people feel out of place because of that. I'm not saying I agree with showing up to a grad school class in pajama pants everyday, but when the winter comes and I want to wear sweats to class, you best get out the way. Pissed is what I am and as long as they are dressing up the first two weeks of class, I'm all about the t-shirts.